Monday, February 9, 2009

Everyone's Hero (2006)

Director: Christopher Reeve, Colin Brady, Dan St. Pierre
Cast: William H. Macy, Rob Reiner, Brian Dennehy, Jake T. Austin
MPAA Rating: G
Running Time: 88 min.
Score: 4 out of 10

Everyone's Hero follows the (mis)adventures of a ten year old boy named Yankee Irving as he travels from New York City (where his father works as a janitor at Yankee Stadium during the depression) to Chicago to give Babe Ruth his custom baseball bat, Darlin', back after it is stolen by a washed up pitcher from the Chicago White Sox in an effort to jinx the Sultan of Swat during the World Series.

Sounds simple enough, right? The perfect movie for any budding baseball fan? Yeah, I don't think so. This movie was flawed right from the begining. Let's forget the bad script and the awful pacing for a moment and just focus on the stuff that really turned me off...

  1. Yankee travels with a talking baseball named Screwy (voiced by Rob Reiner) and Babe's bat Darlin' (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg). I can accept talking inanimate objects, but you can only stretch this so far before it becomes entirely to thin. When Yankee first stumbles upon Screwy he is taken aback by the fact that a baseball can talk... rightfully so. Like any child he quickly accepts this and moves on. Understandably his introduction to Darlin' is less shocking for him. At this point I was still hanging in there, but then Yankee starts coversing with Screwy and Darlin' in front of other people... and these people make no acknowledgment of the fact that this kid is talking to a ball and bat. The only explanation is that all balls and bats in this little "universe" talk and everyone else but little Yankee already knew about it. Thus they are not surprised and don't acknowledge it as it is so common. Seriously? Because if that isn't the case and Yankee is the only one who can talk to them... why don't the adults in this movie have the kid committed?
  2. The movie takes place during the great depression. Pop and hip hop music have no place in this movie.
  3. At one point Yankee ends up on the team bus of a Negro League ball club where he learns quickly that all black atheletes can manipulate a ball as if they were members of the Harlem Globetrotters... WTF?
Yeah, I know that this was the movie that Christopher Reeve was working on when he died, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. If you're a diehard baseball fan I'll assume that you can find something to pull out of this movie. Frankly, this movie just made me want to go watch The Sandlot again in an effort to redeem baseball movies everywhere...

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